Another book, finally

Hello

I’m am speaking to the void and to those who were gracious enough to buy my first book in digital format.

I come to you again.

We all do. Finally, i’ve finished editing, preparing, making and remaking things on this, the second part of the Grand Tour.

Titled The Grand Revenge, this book in particular is set one year after the end of the first book and continues the adventures of Tom and Gus, the two Earthlings that dared cross the threshold of space into unknown areas of the Universe.

Of course, like last time, this will definitely turn into an adventure of unthinkable proportions to them and to you, reader.

In the very near future the book will be made available and I will make sure to notify you as soon as it happens, so stay tuned and make sure you’re ready for this second part of their travels through space.

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Final Weekend, Day 27

So, this is it, the final stretch. And, as usual, I am behind.

Actually, not as usual. This is highly unusual. I have always met the minimum, except for a rare occasion in which i was really swinging blindly. Out of the five years I have participated, only one was a loss. The rest were wins. This year is shaping to be a loss. It is now Monday, three days to the deadline and all I have are 40k words and a story that seems to be highly incomplete. I now know where I am going with it. I know who is the great brain behind it all, but the characters have to get there and the road is getting rough and full of “wait, how is it going to happen, again?” moments that not even my characters seem convinced of.

They are a group of strong people, mostly. One character is the nice and new face of the entire party and his fate was decided before he was written into the story. Nevertheless, I have to make justice to the boy and make sure he makes a decent impact. And nothing screams hallellujah like writing things that connect one point to another in a logical sequence. It is really hard to keep the story in a logical thread and at the same time, show everything I need in order to place all the pieces in the same board appropriately. It is hard to write a good mystery, especially one that should focus so hard on cyberpunk. It is one style of writing that has always made me wonder what my future would be like, especially seen as how most cyberpunk stories are either in our past or the very near future, like 2019 (Blade Runner, in case you didn’t know).

And for that matter, real life has been taking such a heavy toll on me that it is hard to focus on what is important: the story, the writing, the art. I probably am birthing a mess of a pseudo-cyber noir that anyone would be loathe to read because everything around me messes with my perception of things, especially all the things I surrounded myself with in order to find the correct mindset.

I guess that it is also hard to focus when everything else is trying to pull me way from that mindset. Life i just too hard right now and not thinking about it just makes me think about it harder. But this is not what I want to write home about. I want to write about this last week. It was slow, it was gritty and it was very uncomfortable. I wish it had been different. Coming up: My Failure in NaNoWriMo 2017.

See you at the finish line.

Weekend 3, Day 19

As life goes on, so does the story I am writing.

November was, from many points of view, a nightmare. Real life and the horrors of society are eating away at me while I try to quench the flames that consume me. Meanwhile, my project seem to take shape, most of them. I somehow find the energy and time and focus (very important) to do all of it.

I thank whatever energy is inside me for this incredible resilience. I would have given up on everything several times over had this happened years ago. Today, I feel that everything that is happening, the good and the bad, are meaningless in the grand scheme of things (there is no scheme, actually). What is there is the moment and the feeling of happiness. We live for them, do we not?

I spent this past week trying to survive by a thread on everything. I feel like at any moment people are going to start trying to kill me for what I have not done yet. Like someone is watching me all the time. The paranoia comes when things are dark. But in all that darkness, there is light. It is not only my own light, but also of those around me.

I have had a lot of help the past few days, a lot of generosity and a lot of opportunities were given to me. I am taking them and trying to do my best to accomplish my goals. Maybe I am too lazy to actually make an effort, but I believe that if something is an effort, it is not what you want. What you want is no effort at all.

Writing has been no effort this NaNoWriMo. It has come easily, it flows constantly and even when I skip days, I manage to recover them on the next without breaking a sweat. This story, whatever it is becoming, is by far my most intense one yet and I am sure I will give it the attention it deserves.

The story is following a road towards uncertainty, a road of mystery, a road of lies and half-truths, like any good cyberpunk. The main character is blind to the schemes of the opposing forces, but the protagonist makes his own schemes, manipulating those around him, making sure he has what he needs for his own personal agenda.

For that, I think this is a different type of cyberpunk. Usually, analyzing other stories, it is all desperate, ignorant and blind. The character’s drive are usually fear, desire for their own growth, revenge. This is something else. This is a case of “what has to be done”. Much like the drive of the protagonist, this is the same drive for me. And that is enough to make anything. “It must be done, so do it properly.”

Hopefully these words will not fall on deaf ears, so listen up: I am afraid of tomorrow, in all senses. I am afraid of the unknown, but I am also relaxed about the fact that even if I make a mistake, the only thing that is going to happen is insignificant in the big picture. So, take a breath and remember, we are all insignificant. None of us are special. No one matter and no one counts. But that is the best possible reason to live well, to live honest and to live fair.

Thank you.

(almost) Weekend 2, Day 10

Five days later and I am still well on my way. No delays. I skipped a couple of days this past week, but at the same time, I have been so hard at work (drum snare) that I actually devour away at 2k words, daily. Goodness that feels so good.

At the same time, there is an interesting feeling of abandonment that comes with it. It feels so much bigger than me. Feels like it is somehow wrong that I am actually managing to do all this writing. Every step of the way, every single sentence finished, I feel like it is pure trash and that during (future) editing things are just going to be dropped like ripe fruits from a tall tree, splashing away on the ground below without any good ending on sight.

But that is a common fear. I also feel very lonely.

But that is writing for you. It is not a group activity, even though some may find a way to make it into a community (NaNoWriMo, after all, is a community), but we all know, each one of us, that no matter how much we try to share, we are alone in this particular moment. When you sit down in front of your writing tool, your words fall on death ears and blind eyes. Your emotions are flat and motionless to all those around you. Only you can truly understand the words, the phrases, the feelings. This is hard. This is lonesome.

If you share this, sometimes, it can be seen as weakness. As a reason to call the social services and commit you to a madhouse, because, apparently, a person cannot complain about their feelings without being tagged as insane. Feelings is a thing of the past, people, let’s just rush on our way to work and leave that feeling, the thing that makes us human, roll out of the window in a suicidal fall.

Don’t do that.

Don’t hold it back. Make a hard shell of awesomeness around yourself. Whatever people say, it’s just and simply because they do not understand. And they never will. You are not alone in being alone when writing. We are right there with you. Write on and don’t let those who don’t have the courage to write take you down.

Leave them behind like that blank page that haunts all our nightmares.